Something Different

I got home today and something had changed. I couldn’t figure out what it was and I still can’t figure it out, but something was different.

I went on a date today. I haven’t done that for a long ass time. I think I was scared. My heart had been broken before and I was scared that if I even opened the door a crack, I wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure. I felt like there was a reason I was alone. There was obviously something wrong with me, something that made me inherently unlovable. Once someone actually got to know me, they would obviously discover how awful I was and leave.

So how did it go? Not great. Not awful, but I knew there wouldn’t be a second date. And it wasn’t me. Or him. It just wasn’t right.

I’m still scared. But for the first time today, There was this moment when I didn’t hate who I was. When I didn’t feel worthless. It was different. Kinda nice actually.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Something Different

  1. Like the idea that you tried. You are a lovable personality and the perfect fit for someone out there. Thanks for opening your mind, soon, your heart will follow suit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s