People don’t wait for you. That’s sorta how it works. I came back to campus hoping that things would be the same, but deep down, I knew that they wouldn’t be. The friends that I had considered family before, I don’t think I know them anymore, and I don’t think they know me. It’s okay. I think I would be sad if I had time to think about it. But then again, I have thought about it, and it’s okay.
In the eight months that I was away from campus, my friends grew and changed. And I did too. It’s hard to be close to people you don’t even know anymore. A few weeks ago, I got some really good news, and I didn’t have any friends on campus that I really wanted to tell. I didn’t feel like anybody would really care. And the one thing that really sucks is I feel like I’m starting college over again this semester, the spring of my junior year. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I stayed on campus though, and I think things would have been worse. Because in the time that I spent away, I discovered that I didn’t really like who I was and where I was going. So maybe a fresh start isn’t so bad.
That place that I was trying to get to before, where I can just be happy being me? I’m closer now than I’ve ever been before. I’ve been working hard to get my academics back on track, and I think its paying off. I’ve been paying close attention to the needs of my body, and for the first time since I got to college, I’ve never slept through a single class. I’ve even found a few strands of white hair that are turning black at the roots again. Being gluten free sucks, but its made some really good things happen. And I’m starting to realize the people are who truly care about me and who I’m happy spending time with. I still have sad moments each day. But who doesn’t really.