Brainstorm

I’m hitting a writer’s block and I feel like its because I haven’t written in a while. Well I have, but I’ve sorta kept it to myself. I guess I’ve been using it as a means to get really horrible thoughts out of my head and it more or less cleanses for me for like the next 15 days. I’m getting kind of emotional today. Well, I guess as emotional as I can get, which is me sitting here expressionless whispering: “get it together, maggie. don’t let any of your feelings leak out.” I guess i feel like if something were to slip out, it would all come flooding out and then I’d have a goddam mess on my hands. no, this is easier. i’m content. i’m safe. i’m happy. what more can i ask for. how can i be satisfied, but dissatisfied? why do i feel like everything i say is half a lie? i’m genuinely happy, but i also feel like there’s something unexplainable inside. waiting to pounce right when i least expect it. whatever. i’m feeling kind of annoyed and invalidated right now. but who the fuck really cares how i feel? wait, that actually explains a lot…

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