I’ve been working nonstop for the past 6 months and its been super painful but i’ve dealt with it because i thought things would be better when it was over. but i’m finally in a good situation with a relaxed work environment in an amazing city. and things are supposed to be good now things are supposed to be good.

but i still feel like shit every day and life seems so hopeless and i spend all my energy trying to convince myself that i’m supposed to be happy and i’m not. there just doesn’t seem to be a point because things don’t get better.

and i know how incredibly stupid and hurtful it would be to my family and my friends to do it and so i don’t think i would but i think about it all the time. it just hurts so much to be here.

maybe i’m not thinking straight but i thought things were better and they’re not and this time i don’t have an excuse this time it’s just me.

i don’t know who to talk to and no one deserves to have to deal with me. i don’t know what to do. it hurts so much right now.

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